Victory Dance

A praise report given Sunday: Mr. Hewey shared with me that last Sunday after I prayed for him he had been healed, then he filled in the blanks. Hewey is a diabetic, which I knew, what I didn't know was that he had a toe which had been infected for quite some time. He told me it had been quite painful for quite awhile. After the previous Sunday's prayer it had been completely healed. Woo-hoo! I did not have a special word to pray for Hewey that Sunday since he had not shared with us about his toe, it was simply an overflow prayer from the move of the Spirit and move He did without my knowledge. Many of you know that I hate what diabetes can do to people and have fought in prayer to see it's ravages reversed so this was a great encouragement that we are making progress in 'prayers of faith which save the sick'.
We have been passing through a time from believing to knowing. What's the difference, well I can't tell you theologically, but for me belief still has an aspect of hope, which is not bad, just not quite there. Knowing brings one into the heart of seeing in the Spirit realm what is about to manifest in the physical and as we've been teaching pulling it into the present. I've been doing victory dances over what I've seen in the Spirit,with my heart knowing that it is a done deal in the Spirit realm, hence it will be seen in this one. In the midst of the battle for many aspect of our lives to be reclaimed and for souls, I am beginning to find not a dance of hope but of peace and victory which allows joy to overflow and in that overflow not only are the waters stirred but we are stirred to reach out and carry many to the streams of grace. There is great grace, grace which we have not even begun to imagine, though I'm starting to catch glimpses of it, watch for it to manifest in the midst of your struggles and hey, try a victory dance now I think you will enjoy the results.

k

Regrets, Response, Relativity

Recently on a trip to Texas at a lunch dedicated to the birthday of a 93 year old I found myself hitting a severe regret mode. I looked around at all the wonderful people approaching the last phase of their journey and saw myself in 20 to 30 years (should the Lord tarry) and I didn’t particularly want the same look in my eyes that I saw, the same acceptance of how life seemed to have unfolded. I took a look back at my life and realized the many opportunities I had missed, the time lost to busyness; that I had not spent enough time with what matters most here on the human level and that is relationships. Many of the people at the lunch I had known since I was a child but had not had much contact with at all. Some ’knew’ me but I didn’t remember them at all. I realize that having lived in as many places as I have, that it might be impossible to keep up with everyone who had been a part of one’s life but surely I could have done a bit better job with those who had been a part of my past since they had impacted my future; the who I am now. I was humbled that these people who I probably hadn’t given much of a second thought to in many years were so overjoyed that I was healed, and took such hope for their loved ones who were in need of healing from mine. They rejoiced to see me eat and I regretted not being able to do more than I had, however I did spend time with many of them listening to their stories encouraging them over their loved ones illness and the grace of our Father. That night in the dark hours I cried a lot not for paradise lost but for opportunities lost, for attitudes and mindsets that kept me from being connected to mankind more, from being more involved in lives of people who could have been a benefit and perhaps I could have been of more benefit to them. It took a plague of death to bring John Donne, a priest to the realization that ‘No man is an island’. It seems to be that technology and the pace of lifestyle that we choose to participate in are designed to keep us apart. I know that the electronic devices are touted as a way to keep in touch, fast and easy but they actually propagate distance, a lack of face to face, real communication. We don’t lack communication so much as we lack union and communion. It seems to me we actually keep in touch to keep our distance. The inconsequential becomes the major so that we don’t actually have to face the real important stuff, like messy relationships, high maintenance situations. Then we wonder why we often feel so bankrupt in our emotions, stunted in our dreams and aspirations. So I regretted right now while I still might have time and strength to repair, to change not things but me; for I know from the years that have passed that it is not things that can be changed if self is not really changed, that good intentions can’t work if the heart is not convinced and willing to take the step away from the past and toward the desired goal for the future. That life is not safe in the terms that we want safety; it is messy and involved with all sorts of other messes. I had not rejoiced in depth of spirit with those who were throwing an impromptu party if I didn’t feel like it, nor had I been willing to sit Shiva with someone in the depths of sorrow when I felt that my issues were enough for me so a quick pat and prayer seemed sufficient and I quickly moved along. We sometimes feel we can’t take on others questions because we can’t seem to find answers for our own. Somehow we forget that it is together that we were created to tackle the situations of this world, it is not good for man to be alone, that Yeshua sent them out two by two.
1 Cor. 13:8-9 talks about love never failing and that we only see part and prophesy in part. We each only have a part of the picture so we need the others to complete it and the only way to love is to have more than one involved in the equation unless of course self love is elevated and that is not really love. Bottom-line we need each other; the solution to our emotional bankruptcy was Abba given a long time ago, each other, each of us housing a part of His Spirit being formed into the image of His Son, the perfect one spoken of in verse 10. When He comes the ‘part’ will become whole, the body will be united we will see face to face. Until then we need each other no matter the cost to self for He paid a supreme cost of involvement. 2 Cor. 5:21 He paid for our sins so we could be right with Abba to be right with Abba we must be right with each other.
Let me conclude this with a simple relativity lesson that I had on my return home. I was walking past my frig and glanced up at a note that Dave had left for me at some time or other and had decided to keep by adding it to my frig art. It says, ‘I love you, bigger than Pawpaw’s garden.’ A family joke among the grandkids especially when expressing a ‘big’ love. My Dad’s garden to them was huge hence it became a benchmark for how to express love. While in Texas Dad told me that he had now plowed up an area beyond his normal garden spot where he used to keep goats (good fertile area) and it was a lot bigger than his original spot, enough in fact to feed the whole family. Suddenly Pawpaw’s garden had just gotten bigger so the analogy to loving bigger than Pawpaw’s garden had grown as well. I wish it were as easy as expanding a physical plot of ground but the heart is a bit more complicated, It is possible however to enlarge our heart. Ps. 119 speaks of having our hearts enlarged in order to keep His commandments. John 14:15 says to love Him you keep His commandments. John 15:10 says the Father’s love abides in us when we keep Yeshua’s words. I could go on and on but bottom line as I see it and I know I only see in part, to love Him allows us to keep His words and allows Abba to show more of His love for us, when we experience more of Abba’s love we have our hearts enlarged and we love more and are able to do more and accept more love and well, to me that seems like His kingdom on earth as it is in Heaven. Why was Daddy making a bigger garden? Did he and mom suddenly become bigger eaters? No, it was for the family, that all would have the resource to eat; it was motivated by loving concern. 1 John 3:1 Behold what manner of love the Father has given us…

k

Profitable Wrestling Matches

First of all in the natural I’ve never that I can remember watched a wrestling match and with the danger of stomping on someone’s enjoyment I don’t particularly see what the dressed up snarling guys touted on TV have much to do with real wrestling but then that’s my opinion. I have come up with a smattering of knowledge due to movies I’ve watched that had scenes of real wrestling matches so it seems to me it’s the grappling to get the right hold and to then put someone on the mat in an immobile position. I don’t know the point system that it takes to win but there has to be one so you know when you’ve actually won this grappling and penning process. Why am I talking about wrestling matches? Maybe because it seems as if we’ve just won one or at least just had a major ‘penning’ of the opponent. According to Eph, 6 we know who we wrestle against but many seem to take this in a generic sense only instead of seeing it as an up close and personal match. To me a sword fight would seem preferable in that there is a least a bit of distance in between the combatants but nope we are wrestling hence close contact. A couple of night ago I got up to visit the restroom and glancing in the living room saw what I at least call a strongman (big black as a void entity) and thought, ‘yeah you would show up, no surprises.’ I rebuked it in Yeshua’s name asking Abba to bind this thing and get it out since it’s apparently been bugging me in the night for awhile and must have gotten desperate enough to become visible. I usually don’t say much about these wrestling matches since most people don’t want to hear about it maybe because they don’t want to consider having to wrestle themselves but when I mentioned it to Dave the next day he told me he had been having sense that something was just behind him feeling it tangibly and getting glimpses of it. I replied, ‘well that would explain your freaky dreams of the last few nights.’ I’ve been rebuking my freaky dreams and had not been having them not thinking about Dave’s and not realizing that this was a conjoined attack. So last night together we bound up the opponent, his plots and plans and the results were glorious. I don’t know what time it was but I had been sleeping deeply (a miracle for me) and peacefully when I woke and opened my eyes, whoa the glory cloud was encompassing us, I’ve never seen it this thick so I put my hand right in front of my face and nope, couldn’t see my hand, now that’s thick. I felt such peace and sweet joy. I say sweet joy cause it was not the exhilarating kind that hypes me but a gentle woo-hoo of grace. I closed my eyes and when I opened them again for a brief moment the visible cloud was gone. Instead of fearing I should have done’ something, worshipped or gotten up to keep it visible I knew that not seeing it was also a sign that I was not imagining it because of the lighting of the night nor did I have to see it to know that His presence was still there. It was a visible assurance that what I had seen the night before was in no way present hence no need to wrestle that ‘thing’. So I took advantage to pray over the world without the personal pressure of covering self from an up close and personal attack at that moment. It was like Abba was saying, ‘go ahead baby, talk to Me about your hearts concerns over the world, no need to look over your shoulder for a sneak attack while you aren’t focused on your immediate territory. I’ve got you covered.’
Today a natural irritant possibility showed up on my doorstep, but I was able to shrug and say, ‘not going to mess with my day, I’m not even giving you the ability to cause me to wrestle for a min.’ Why? Because my focus is on Abba, looking the direction He’s directing so the flies that buzz around aren’t even worth swatting cause I know the wind of Ruach (the Spirit) can and will blow them away. I’m learning to subdue my thoughts, wrestle the enemy and rest in Abba’s presence and it’s a good way to live.

k

Dichotomy?

We recently celebrated our 34th anniversary; as in all of life looking at the present and looking back I see what appears to be a dichotomy (division into two parts), good times and bad times or so it seems. Waking early on the first morning of our anniversary trip in Va. Beach I experienced conflicted feelings; I was glad to be on a trip with my hubby but feeling terribly guilty that we were at the beach enjoying ourselves while there are people who are starving. Yeah I can be a real downer to those seeking to party hardy. Truth be told I’ve always been this way. I can see wonderfully joyful things and at the same time weep for the lost of the world. I often feel I live in this state of tension between exultation and travail. I exalt in His grace and provision and weep for the fallness of a world that is stumbling by and large in darkness. I saw families pushing little ones in strollers these little dinks full of vim and vigor and heartbreaking sights of families pushing children in wheelchairs, children with obvious afflictions. This was the first year of several that we’ve been doing the Va. Beach anniversary trips that I have not been ill so I exalted in the ability to walk the boardwalk an average of 5 mi per day feeling strong and not having to push my body to put one foot in front of the other while noticing some much younger than I who possibly due to a stroke had trouble walking at all. This seeming dichotomy (I say seeming since we know that there could be many who though afflicted in body were free of spirit and many strong in body have broken spirits) does not cause me to walk around and lose hope nor does it dim the joy of Abba’s grace and goodness, it simply keeps me rooted in compassion, a part of the overall suffering of living in a fallen world while still knowing with great assurance that I can be a part of the solution, a helping hand extended.
On Monday, the day after our anniversary, the day after the Neptune festival was over, Dave and I were sitting on the balcony of our room watching the greatly lessened crowd on the boardwalk when we noticed the chainsaw sculptor was packing up his area. We also noticed his wife and little girl walking around. When Dave noticed the wife trying to help her husband with an obviously heavy bench he commented that he felt badly seeing a lady trying to heft something like that. I said, ‘let’s go help.’ He agreed and we went down at first we tentatively stood around not wanting to get in the way nor seem like weirdos but eventually starting to join in on the moving of carvings etc. At one point the young wife looked at me and said, ‘you don’t have to help us.’ I her we had just been chillin on the balcony and my hubby couldn’t stand to see her having to heft heavy stuff and keep an eye on their two year old. I also told her that if more people would just help each other we would all have an easier time of it. You could see that they weren’t used to people helping but eventually they accepted us as part of the process and we chatted and worked together. Skyler, their two year old had no problem with our presence accepting us immediately as only children seem to be able to. I suddenly realized sometime in the middle of the hour and half that we helped that I was helping my nemesis. Okay, maybe the chainsaw sculptor wasn’t really my enemy but I had been complaining to Dave for three days that his noisy chainsaw demonstrations just down from our room were very irritating. I think chainsaw noise rates way up on my scale of noises that get on my nerves. I had to smile at the dichotomy; here I was volunteering to help an irritant to my anniversary vacation with no ulterior motive other than to help out a young couple.
I’m so glad that Abba doesn’t’ allow my often whiney prayers to irritate Him to the point of refusing a helping hand. He always looks down and sees when the load is heavy for this lady and sends help, often anonymously but none the less with His hand print on it.
For me the only way this dichotomy makes sense is to look at it with an exalted view, the view that Yeshua took while on the cross. From His pain, His sacrifice came not only the promise of future help but the offer of being a present help. To the thief on the cross He promised, ‘today you will be with Me in paradise.’ We could argue what or where paradise was/is but that’s not the issue, it’s the today. The thief would die but would know instant translation into the today of Yeshua’s hope. We don’t have to die in order to grasp that helping hand for today we can in the midst of all the struggle know what it is for Him to bear our burdens, to take away our fears to give certainty in an uncertain world. We live in a world skewed by sin but redeemed by grace. It is the cross that keeps the seeming dichotomy from yawning into a great divide which would keep us from walking in grace and peace now. It was through the suffering of God the Son that the sons of God can walk without division, with our hearts full of compassion, full of praise, with the knowledge that we need not allow suffering to impale joy in hopelessness but with the knowledge that today is your salvation nearer than when you first believed. (Romans 13:11)

k