We know that grace is a constant, in that Abba is not whimsical as we humans; deciding some days to be more gracious and other days to stand back and let us squirm. The squirming usually comes from us stepping back and trying to do something, or figure things out ourselves. Sometimes the squirming may come from ignorance (not stupidity) being ignorant of the Word, of our Abba given authority in Yeshua’s name, or our own Abba given abilities to deal with life and its vicissitudes.
We also should understand that the ‘suddenlies’ are mostly actualities of divine plan which had been designed and provided for long ago. In other words things or circumstances may take us by surprise or cause us to be off guard but they do not surprise nor alarm Abba one little bit. This life of faith is a journey full of moments but mostly those moments go along undetected, unheralded, unheeded. Yet there are those times when we have ‘Ah-has’, ‘wows’, for me ‘woo-hoos’. Is Abba more gracious in these times? Is He any more present in these times? (I do believe that there are times He manifests Himself perhaps causing Him to seem more accessible though we know He is always present, it just doesn’t look that way to us.)
Last night I had a woo-hoo of the spiritual kind. I admit I have woo-hoo moments in the physical realm fairly often since I like to celebrate life’s moments when I can; however my walk with Yeshua has been based on trust and relationship, more than feelings. I have complained before when everyone else seems to have holy shivers that though I know He’s there I ‘feel’ nada, at least discernibly. I’ve wondered if I were stunting my feelings, due to my ever questing mental processes. I’ve even had extensive conversations with Abba about these feeling lacks, in which He has told me, ‘I talk to you what more do you want?’ True, I would rather have conversation than ‘chills and thrills’ (It should be noted here that I am not disparaging anyone who does feel intensively His presence, truth be told I would say I envy you but I’m not supposed to envy people)
Last night and one other night within the last couple of months I have found myself at the computer, (playing spider which I do to unwind. It should be noted I mostly lose since I don’t want to pay attention to the game just have my hands and mind active while allowing my thoughts freedom) and suddenly my casual conversation with Abba has turned into a realization of how good (really really good) He is; and woo-hoo, I feel a joy welling up, springing forth spilling over into my language and usually into a dance. This may be followed by sitting with a possibly goofy looking (to anyone but Abba) smile on my face as I just can’t stop grinning. Last nights woo-hoo grace was I would say more intense than the one before perhaps due to extreme gratitude in that this was a second time for this occurrence and if there is a first and second then it just follows that there will probably be a third.
Pondering these two woo-hoo grace moments I suddenly realized it was not that Abba had manifest or made Himself more present (I still lost the solitaire game), it was that I had showed up, really, really. I had grasped a concept of His goodness which spilled into feeling it. This made me wonder how often are we waiting for Him to manifest, when He is actually just waiting for us to be present to the moment, to Him? When I manifest (become clearly revealed) to Him then I’ve removed the veil from my face allowing me to see, feel, hear Him as He always wants to be seen, felt, heard by us in this physical world in which we dwell. I understand that on this side we see through a veil of flesh but we often create veils out of many things which further cloak His presence from us. Two ordinary moments, two average spaces of time were transformed for me into present presence and joy which transcends any other woo-hoos, I’ve yet to experience were mine to treasure and the anticipation of more ordinary moments to become woo-hoos, well that’s a given.
k
Friday, May 30, 2008
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Heart String Melody
5/20/08
Sunday during worship as the Spirit moved gently in my heart and spirit I had glimpses of our lives as a stringed instrument. All the components were there for lovely music to be played but there was a problem with the string’s tension. Some of the strings were too loose, others much too tightly strung. I felt as if Ruach was saying that He is the master musician but that we were responsible for the maintenance of our instruments/lives. Some have lived their lives too loosely, not walking in the light which they have had the privilege to have shed upon their hearts and thus the strings when plucked could not vibrate rightly to produce the ‘heavenly’ music. Others and I felt at the time that this was the majority of us, had our strings strung so tightly that to play them was to risk a breaking of the string. It’s like we’ve walked our lives out of our own strength of understanding, out of strict adherence to what we have thought was the ‘right’ way. Bottom line I suppose it’s that we’ve tried too hard in the flesh realm to be righteous and it’s not that we’ve had great sin in our lives but we’ve made serving Him a struggle which we strive to deal with it rather than casting our cares upon Him; trusting in Him as our strength, knowing that His joy brings us the ability to play the song and to enjoy it at the same time.
This reminded me that recently walking between Panera’s (our eatery of choice) and Barnes and Noble (my mental eatery) in the C’ville location, I noticed in one of the jewelry shops (I think) two violins. They were stringless. Someone had used them as an art display. Maybe they were for sale, maybe they were just decoration but the point is they were unplayable though decoratively nice to look at. I however immediately was grieved in my spirit (I know a strong reaction to painted violins) because suddenly I felt like they had been desecrated. They were created to perform a certain function and instead someone had simply used them for a very different function. They were to be audible grace and glory to the ears, when maintained and played correctly. Instead someone had tried to make them visually appealing, space fillers; to me they are gaudy and tragic at the same time, fulfilling a function but not the function they were crafted for.
Abba, I repent for filling up the spaces in my life with pretty trinkets, for sometimes being a pretty trinket, a Christian token. Please forgive me for allowing the tensions of this present time to make me unfruitful and as I surrender myself to Ruach’s adjustments may grace and beauty flow from my lips, may the love song in my heart resonate throughout my entire being that You might take joy in the song of grace received and lived to the fullest.
k
Sunday during worship as the Spirit moved gently in my heart and spirit I had glimpses of our lives as a stringed instrument. All the components were there for lovely music to be played but there was a problem with the string’s tension. Some of the strings were too loose, others much too tightly strung. I felt as if Ruach was saying that He is the master musician but that we were responsible for the maintenance of our instruments/lives. Some have lived their lives too loosely, not walking in the light which they have had the privilege to have shed upon their hearts and thus the strings when plucked could not vibrate rightly to produce the ‘heavenly’ music. Others and I felt at the time that this was the majority of us, had our strings strung so tightly that to play them was to risk a breaking of the string. It’s like we’ve walked our lives out of our own strength of understanding, out of strict adherence to what we have thought was the ‘right’ way. Bottom line I suppose it’s that we’ve tried too hard in the flesh realm to be righteous and it’s not that we’ve had great sin in our lives but we’ve made serving Him a struggle which we strive to deal with it rather than casting our cares upon Him; trusting in Him as our strength, knowing that His joy brings us the ability to play the song and to enjoy it at the same time.
This reminded me that recently walking between Panera’s (our eatery of choice) and Barnes and Noble (my mental eatery) in the C’ville location, I noticed in one of the jewelry shops (I think) two violins. They were stringless. Someone had used them as an art display. Maybe they were for sale, maybe they were just decoration but the point is they were unplayable though decoratively nice to look at. I however immediately was grieved in my spirit (I know a strong reaction to painted violins) because suddenly I felt like they had been desecrated. They were created to perform a certain function and instead someone had simply used them for a very different function. They were to be audible grace and glory to the ears, when maintained and played correctly. Instead someone had tried to make them visually appealing, space fillers; to me they are gaudy and tragic at the same time, fulfilling a function but not the function they were crafted for.
Abba, I repent for filling up the spaces in my life with pretty trinkets, for sometimes being a pretty trinket, a Christian token. Please forgive me for allowing the tensions of this present time to make me unfruitful and as I surrender myself to Ruach’s adjustments may grace and beauty flow from my lips, may the love song in my heart resonate throughout my entire being that You might take joy in the song of grace received and lived to the fullest.
k
Monday, May 19, 2008
The Kingdom?
5/17/08
In his book Faster Than The Speed of Light, Joao Magueijo stated: But as it happens you end up conquering Mount Everest while fighting for the Moon.
Okay, I have no desire to conqueror Everest or the Moon but I am aiming for the heavenly Kingdom and the promise that it is on Earth now. Yeshua said: The Kingdom of God is within you. Luke 17:21 He also stated that the Kingdom does not come by observation (ocular activity), drat. Science depends on observation; but thankfully its scientific theories and laws which may depend on observations don’t stop life from happening observed or not. Life goes on quite well whether we observe or can come up with the right formula to define it. Observation can often lead to an erroneous premise for life, for example if you’ve got money your blessed of God or if you are sick He must be against you. These don’t equate to truth; at least not according to Scriptural example. Shaul (Paul) boasted in his weaknesses saying when we are weak, He is strong. There are many other examples but I am not out to prove the obvious. Though the Kingdom does not come by observation I do think sometimes observation can give us some clues to understanding the Kingdom according to Scriptural descriptions.
Yeshua said: If I by the Spirit of God cast out demons, the Kingdom of God has come to you. Matt. 12:28
Hmm, I know I just lost a lot of you, demons don’t seem to be a subject for polite society, aren’t they just a bit archaic, entities of our superstitious past? Not in The Book and not in my experience, I don’t expect you to go off my experiences but I remind you the above quote is Yeshua (Jesus) speaking. The Kingdom comes when demonic activity is displaced. He also told the disciples to go into the harvest fields as lambs among wolves, to heal the sick and tell them the Kingdom has come near them (Luke 10:9).
Next Yeshua says we must receive the Kingdom as a little child. Luke 18:17 Children accept the word of one who they trust, they are eager to learn and experience new things, they have the ability to learn new skills and accept them as part of everyday life. They lack a memory that would hold them bound to a ‘past’. They tend to embrace the future, eager to find out all they can about life. For me to accept the Kingdom as a little child means to agree with everything Yeshua had to say about His Father, to listen to Ruach (the Spirit) and what He has to say about Yeshua and life in general, to believe that there is a love which surpasses my understanding and does indeed cover a multitude of sins, a peace which comes with this great Lover of our soul; it means being eager to accept change and refusing to be bound by past experiences but to build on them and be open to new interpretations of those experiences, and a whole lot more.
Yeshua also told His followers that they were to be able to know the mystery of the Kingdom of God (Mark 4:11) to those on the outside it would be heard in parables. Oy Vey, it seems to me as if the premise has been inverted and it’s the kingdom dwellers that hear only parables, sorry, that’s a bit of a harsh judgment. I suppose I just like mysteries and solving them or at least delving into them as far as I can go, it seems many are content to take the Words of the Kingdom at surface value hence missing the greater revelation of Spiritual truth behind the natural truth.
Shaul says the Kingdom is entered to through much tribulation (Acts 14:22). Now that seems in opposition to the childlike stance, however for me it means as we mature there will be trials and troubles but it’s worth it. Apparently Shaul thought so since he gave his life for the Kingdom to be established here. He also says to the church in Rome (14:17) that the Kingdom is righteousness, peace and joy in Ruach (the Spirit). Which of course makes it easier to go through the afore mentioned trials.
Shaul said in the first book to the Corinthians (4:20) For the kingdom of God is not in word, but in power. You can tell it, talk about it all you want but it’s a Kingdom of power received and freely given.
To sum up a huge subject Yeshua tells three parables in Matt 13 the Word of the Kingdom of God is like seeds planted in a field and for various reasons the enemy comes and steals away the seeds unless the seeds (Words of the Kingdom) falls on good ground. Next the Kingdom is like a man that plants good seed in a field and the enemy comes and sows in false grain (tares) and when the owner of the field is asked if the servants should pull out the false grain, he tells them no lest they damage the roots of the true grain, it is enough to wait till the end when the harvest is come and the bad grain will be gathered and burned, the good harvested, thirdly the Kingdom is like a grain of mustard seed which is planted in a field, though it is a small seed it grows great and strong and birds are able to nest and lodge there. Fourthly the Kingdom is like leaven put in dough where it leavens the entire batch. Fifthly, the Kingdom is like a treasure hidden in a field, a costly pearl, a net which scoops up good and bad vessels. In Matt. 20 He uses the example of the Kingdom like a man who hires servants at varying hours of the day but at the end of the day pays them all the same wages.
Okay there are plenty of more examples of the Kingdom and I am not trying to come up with the Ultimate Theory of Everything concerning the Kingdom so let me say what’s on my heart after hopefully having given you enough material to provoke your thoughts and prick your hearts.
The Kingdom is within reach, sort of. I admit you can’t physically touch the Kingdom within you but it can and should ‘touch’ impact the world. The Kingdom within you is a lifestyle which with a childlike stance accepts the premise that the world has fallen prey to enemy forces. We have a great Commander/Saviour who left perfection, the ultimate fulfillment of the Kingdom, to come and forcibly take back the Kingdom in the hearts of men. I say forcibly because it seems to be a violent overthrown of the dark side of man’s nature though the weapons to accomplish this seem not so violent-love being the preeminent one; to love Abba/Yeshua/Ruach, ourselves and our neighbors as our selves firmly establishes the Kingdom in our hearts and in doing so in the physical world at large. satan and his minions have no weapon that can destroy this Abba birthed love; they do however try to take mankind’s hearts leaving them bereft, without the capacity to love, though love itself can’t fail, we can fail to love. I know for some theologians I should say faith is the next weapon but why state what is obvious, if you love Him with all your heart you will believe and trust in Him, it’s a no brainer, really-really, it’s a heart thing. Loving Him with all our heart will accomplish what the parables of the treasure, pearl…were told to us for. We will never ever be satisfied with anything less than Him, His will, His ways, His desires for us and all mankind if we love Him as we are capable of doing. This accomplishes the living rightly, having peace with Abba, ourselves and all mankind, and that leads to pure joy, all this is through the inward establishment of Kingdom that Ruach helps us to attain; a Spiritual state played out in flesh.
Shaul did mention power; I know some of you are saying, ‘Alright, now we’re getting somewhere, it takes power to create the Kingdom’. Ah, it’s not so much that it takes us wielding power to receive the Kingdom as it is that when we have the Kingdom in our hearts, power flows from that Kingdom into the world. We don’t just talk it, we live it and that really is powerful. Hint, in my opinion a lot of the power in the beginning is needed for self-control, get self in line and lots of other stuff seems to be easier to deal with.
Subduing the self give us a chance to fulfill the original command given to man in the garden to subdue and have dominion over the earth. I have chaffed a lot lately with the deepening conviction that we have not scratched the surface of that original command. We hold sway in the physical way over the earth, manipulating it, we cull or save animals at our will, invent ways of making our lives easier but somehow I don’t think that was Abba’s original nor final intent for His creation. Let me put it this way, ‘His heart is missing’ from most of our deeds. He said the Kingdom was available and I ascertain from Scripture that what happens in the Spirit is suppose to impact the physical. Those who hang around me for very long will hear me say, ‘there’s more to this being here on earth than just making it to heaven someday. He has a purpose for us being in flesh or He would have put an end to it all before now.’
Oy, Abba, I long to fulfill Your heart’s desire on Earth as it is in Your Heavenly Abode. I want to understand the mystery and have the heart and power to do something to help Your Kingdom expand now, here on Earth, for Yeshua’s sake by Ruach’s powerful presence, for Your joy.
k
Monday, May 12, 2008
Atomic Minutiae
Minding Blowing Grace
5/12/08
I recently read a line from a Madeline L’Engle book where the character makes a statement that we needed a new God, a God big enough for the atomic age (paraphrased). I began to wonder since the wonderful world of quantum physic has changed our understanding of even the atom, ‘do we actually need that ‘bigger God’?” Another thought flitted across my mind, ‘why a bigger God when the atom is so small?’ I understand the need for more aka bigger knowledge of Him who compacted such power in such a small particle; however as the ole saying goes ‘bigger is not better’. In fact for me it’s the minutiae of Abba’s attributes that I find the most mind blowing. His attention to the smallest details, the tiniest of the tiny, this is one of my greatest delights and greatest cause for reverence and wonder. This leg of the journey that I have been on for the past seven years has shown me His no small amount of attention to the smallest areas in my life.
I have this Bible that is all mixed up. It is a yearly devotional one so it has bits of the First Covenant, Psalms, Proverbs and New Covenant grouped together so that you read a portion for all these areas every day and finish the entire in a year. I’m not sure I ever actually read it like I was suppose to, though for those of a legalistic bent, I have read the Bible through and even taken notes on it, mucho notebooks filled with study notes so don’t despair in my lack of using this Bible as it was intended, for I contend that I have used it as Ruach (the Spirit) intended for me to. Hmm, yeah, I just open it randomly not knowing where I will land (since it’s mixed up) and expect for Ruach to use it to guide my reading or thoughts for the day. Does it work? Ahh… yeah, or I wouldn’t keep doing it! I do know there are times when it doesn’t seem to be working in that the answer to my question is not on the same page as the one opened? Uhuh, then I know He is saying, ‘not ready to talk to you about that one’ or at least that I am going to have to wait for further instruction not a quick freebie. Do I suggest that others do this type of radical listening? Nope, I just know it works for me.
Since I’ve never been good at journaling and I blame my eighth grade English teacher for this. One day in a lecture she commented, ‘don’t write down anything you aren’t prepared to be read publicly by whomever.’ She then nailed it by asking, ‘do you think Anne Frank would have written some of her intimate thoughts if she knew the world would have read them later?’ Oy Vey, no way! So I don’t keep a regular journal and if I did it would be more like, ‘today I did…I saw….it probably wouldn’t have I thought…my writings come as close to letting people in to my whacked out mind as I am going to publicly allow and even they are cloaked in layers which few peer hard enough to see through anyway. What I do-do however, on a regular basis is write a date and thought by the Scripture which I was given in direct answer to a question that I was asking at the time. I have notes jotted down like ‘nailed it’ and a date; or ‘soon, Abba, I believe’. Though many of these dates do not correspond with the promise happening at that time they were in direct answer to my questions and later questioning again just in case I misunderstood or Abba forbid I am one of those whack jobs that just open the Scripture and expect to be spoken to (okay I am one of those) He gives me further Scripture ‘nailing it’ the promise not the date of fulfillment. I can say with complete transparency for any and all to read that it has been those constant encouragements from the Scripture that were directly correlating to my questions that kept me from falling into despair or losing heart completely.
Let me give you an example, when I was diagnosed with Celiac Sprue, I was forbidden to eat bread. Now you need to know that I had survived a previous illness of the spewing kind on dry toast. To suddenly tell me the only thing that really stayed down was a no-no to me and not for just a little while but forever; that was a blow not only for the diet but to something which did and still does bring me much comfort. I was obedient to the docs and cut out all gluten containing products but went to prayer and ask Abba was it true? Was I going to have to give up bread? Check Eccl 9:7 (date beside it 4/11/03) I wrote “I will eat bread”. There are other bread promises and it would have been nice if I had dated when I first was given the go ahead by the docs to eat bread again but I don’t journal mostly so anyone who has been around me will attest to the fact that it was months not years that the bread was given back to me as a gift. Oy Vey, I have an Abba who cares about His daughters taste and comfort and is not above telling me ahead of time that He ‘sweats’ the small stuff and intends to restore. By the way the docs are still trying to figure out how I have Celiac but don’t have the crimped villi that Celiac causes…it’s a mystery, at least to them, I just smile and point upward and shrug my shoulders.
For quite awhile now I’ve been praying, ‘teach my fingers to do battle and my hands to make war’ (from the Psalms) and He’s been faithful to awaken me with a sudden ‘wow’ understanding of either a dream or a vision or a flat out word and I fully understand how the enemy has used certain things against us and how I am to fight it. Most recently He gave me the biggest key yet to defeating this strongman that has been intent upon destroying my body (along with others) and our church, if I were audacious I would say this whole region, and no, I don’t suppose I’m the only one to be given this insight. That it’s come now along with a host of other Scriptures and conversations with Ruach, adding confirmation of other prophetic voices, I’d say we are ready to fight, we have the right weaponry, we’ve been training on the small stuff; hence basically I feel this stronghold is coming down now. I don’t think necessarily that it’s going to be easy but neither do I feel as if it’s going to be horrifically hard. This morning in fact I was putting laundry into the washer and I started laughing and said, ‘Oy, Abba You knew it was time now, that what needed to be set in place for us to be freed was coming now, and so You’ve stirred my heart, directed my reading, caused me to revisit the promises…. You could have done a miracle years earlier, but we would not have learned to fight, we would not have learned to depend so radically on Your voice, nor that waiting is precious, a gift of intimacy in this journey You’ve had us on. We would also not have affected so many others if the journey had been shortened. You’ve positioned men like You promised me in Nehemiah and we can build and be prepared to fight at the same time. The fullness of Your time is come and we can embrace all that You showed us over these past seven years. This journey has been a hoot! I can say that now, in fact I insist in going on record before I’m healed and totally delivered that this journey has been more than worth any outcome cause it is undeniably true that You have been with us, sharing our wilderness trek, giving living water from the rock in our lives. You’ve taught us to hate slavery for ourselves and others and to embrace Your promises for us and the nations. Woo-hoo, Woo-hoo, we dance and we will fly, Your joy our strength.’
K
5/12/08
I recently read a line from a Madeline L’Engle book where the character makes a statement that we needed a new God, a God big enough for the atomic age (paraphrased). I began to wonder since the wonderful world of quantum physic has changed our understanding of even the atom, ‘do we actually need that ‘bigger God’?” Another thought flitted across my mind, ‘why a bigger God when the atom is so small?’ I understand the need for more aka bigger knowledge of Him who compacted such power in such a small particle; however as the ole saying goes ‘bigger is not better’. In fact for me it’s the minutiae of Abba’s attributes that I find the most mind blowing. His attention to the smallest details, the tiniest of the tiny, this is one of my greatest delights and greatest cause for reverence and wonder. This leg of the journey that I have been on for the past seven years has shown me His no small amount of attention to the smallest areas in my life.
I have this Bible that is all mixed up. It is a yearly devotional one so it has bits of the First Covenant, Psalms, Proverbs and New Covenant grouped together so that you read a portion for all these areas every day and finish the entire in a year. I’m not sure I ever actually read it like I was suppose to, though for those of a legalistic bent, I have read the Bible through and even taken notes on it, mucho notebooks filled with study notes so don’t despair in my lack of using this Bible as it was intended, for I contend that I have used it as Ruach (the Spirit) intended for me to. Hmm, yeah, I just open it randomly not knowing where I will land (since it’s mixed up) and expect for Ruach to use it to guide my reading or thoughts for the day. Does it work? Ahh… yeah, or I wouldn’t keep doing it! I do know there are times when it doesn’t seem to be working in that the answer to my question is not on the same page as the one opened? Uhuh, then I know He is saying, ‘not ready to talk to you about that one’ or at least that I am going to have to wait for further instruction not a quick freebie. Do I suggest that others do this type of radical listening? Nope, I just know it works for me.
Since I’ve never been good at journaling and I blame my eighth grade English teacher for this. One day in a lecture she commented, ‘don’t write down anything you aren’t prepared to be read publicly by whomever.’ She then nailed it by asking, ‘do you think Anne Frank would have written some of her intimate thoughts if she knew the world would have read them later?’ Oy Vey, no way! So I don’t keep a regular journal and if I did it would be more like, ‘today I did…I saw….it probably wouldn’t have I thought…my writings come as close to letting people in to my whacked out mind as I am going to publicly allow and even they are cloaked in layers which few peer hard enough to see through anyway. What I do-do however, on a regular basis is write a date and thought by the Scripture which I was given in direct answer to a question that I was asking at the time. I have notes jotted down like ‘nailed it’ and a date; or ‘soon, Abba, I believe’. Though many of these dates do not correspond with the promise happening at that time they were in direct answer to my questions and later questioning again just in case I misunderstood or Abba forbid I am one of those whack jobs that just open the Scripture and expect to be spoken to (okay I am one of those) He gives me further Scripture ‘nailing it’ the promise not the date of fulfillment. I can say with complete transparency for any and all to read that it has been those constant encouragements from the Scripture that were directly correlating to my questions that kept me from falling into despair or losing heart completely.
Let me give you an example, when I was diagnosed with Celiac Sprue, I was forbidden to eat bread. Now you need to know that I had survived a previous illness of the spewing kind on dry toast. To suddenly tell me the only thing that really stayed down was a no-no to me and not for just a little while but forever; that was a blow not only for the diet but to something which did and still does bring me much comfort. I was obedient to the docs and cut out all gluten containing products but went to prayer and ask Abba was it true? Was I going to have to give up bread? Check Eccl 9:7 (date beside it 4/11/03) I wrote “I will eat bread”. There are other bread promises and it would have been nice if I had dated when I first was given the go ahead by the docs to eat bread again but I don’t journal mostly so anyone who has been around me will attest to the fact that it was months not years that the bread was given back to me as a gift. Oy Vey, I have an Abba who cares about His daughters taste and comfort and is not above telling me ahead of time that He ‘sweats’ the small stuff and intends to restore. By the way the docs are still trying to figure out how I have Celiac but don’t have the crimped villi that Celiac causes…it’s a mystery, at least to them, I just smile and point upward and shrug my shoulders.
For quite awhile now I’ve been praying, ‘teach my fingers to do battle and my hands to make war’ (from the Psalms) and He’s been faithful to awaken me with a sudden ‘wow’ understanding of either a dream or a vision or a flat out word and I fully understand how the enemy has used certain things against us and how I am to fight it. Most recently He gave me the biggest key yet to defeating this strongman that has been intent upon destroying my body (along with others) and our church, if I were audacious I would say this whole region, and no, I don’t suppose I’m the only one to be given this insight. That it’s come now along with a host of other Scriptures and conversations with Ruach, adding confirmation of other prophetic voices, I’d say we are ready to fight, we have the right weaponry, we’ve been training on the small stuff; hence basically I feel this stronghold is coming down now. I don’t think necessarily that it’s going to be easy but neither do I feel as if it’s going to be horrifically hard. This morning in fact I was putting laundry into the washer and I started laughing and said, ‘Oy, Abba You knew it was time now, that what needed to be set in place for us to be freed was coming now, and so You’ve stirred my heart, directed my reading, caused me to revisit the promises…. You could have done a miracle years earlier, but we would not have learned to fight, we would not have learned to depend so radically on Your voice, nor that waiting is precious, a gift of intimacy in this journey You’ve had us on. We would also not have affected so many others if the journey had been shortened. You’ve positioned men like You promised me in Nehemiah and we can build and be prepared to fight at the same time. The fullness of Your time is come and we can embrace all that You showed us over these past seven years. This journey has been a hoot! I can say that now, in fact I insist in going on record before I’m healed and totally delivered that this journey has been more than worth any outcome cause it is undeniably true that You have been with us, sharing our wilderness trek, giving living water from the rock in our lives. You’ve taught us to hate slavery for ourselves and others and to embrace Your promises for us and the nations. Woo-hoo, Woo-hoo, we dance and we will fly, Your joy our strength.’
K
Friday, May 9, 2008
Interminable Holding Pattern
Confounding it all
5/9/08
I have been in much agitation of spirit of late. Reading the wonderful news concerning the pockets of the Spirit’s stirring, aka the beginnings of revival in other places, I’ve found myself rejoicing and weeping. I rejoice for the stirring of the water, the healings, the visions but weep because it seems as if we have been in an interminable holding pattern for… well an interminable amount of time. Interminable’s basic meaning is no boundaries, no end. It continuously seems as if we get right to the end, to the fulfillment of promises only to find another cycle beginning or the boundaries of the one we are in pushed back. I’m not ignorant to the fact that each ‘cycle’ each pushing back of the boundary causes us to gain more ground and come even closer to the fulfillment; yet at this moment in time I find myself frustrated, flummoxed, confounded and a host of other words spring readily to mind but you get the drift. I feel like we are drifting in the sea of not quite, almost there.
I’ve heard a lot of explanations of Kefa’s (Peter) going fishing in Yoch (John) 21. Number one, I’m a lady so who knows what men are thinking? But I find myself identifying with at least the actions if not the mysterious motives. Yeshua (Jesus) had risen, appeared to them, but was no where in sight at the moment so Kefa decides to go fishing. When I’m longing for His presence but can’t seem to find it manifesting I do a host of ‘fishing’ projects.
Great wonders have taken place, I’ve seen and been a part of many of them; I’ve been promised much more through visions and prophetic words (which have been confirmed from a diversity of other sources, not that Ruach (the Spirit) needs to be confirmed but my hearing will take all the aid it can get in making sure I’m not deficient in understanding), yet when things begin to ‘make sense’ to seem to be going in the right direction, I look up and see another mountain, another barely distinguishable trail leading toward the oh so illusive seeming goal.
Okay if you’ve not been around me lately you are probably wondering ‘what goal?’ You might be sorry you asked if I decided to really expound upon ‘the goal’ but for now my most moderately immediate goal is ‘Christ in me, the hope of glory’, His glory, being shed in and on a lost and dying world. From the time I’ve been tiny I’ve asked for the heathen (the lost) for my inheritance, I’ve always known I would not have a house as a home, a stability in the sense that most people seem to long for. My hearts desire has been to be with Him but while I wait for that I have determined, begged, asked worked for being as He is to the nations. Abba so loved the world (that’s every one, of all ethnic backgrounds, creeds…) that He sent Yeshua, His only begotten Son, I want Yeshua in me, with me, through me to continue to reach the world.
Yet in this I feel stymied, confounded, close but never really getting beyond the surface. Hence here I sit longing and not so patiently waiting, okay I’m chaffing at the bit, saying ‘how long, Abba must I wait, I’ve been waiting all my life.’ Does He answer my sobs, my distressing pleas? Yes, He does, with a longing of His own for the nations for Kathryne to come to the fulfillment of all that He has ordained for my life; with whispers of grace and glory, blowing on the embers of my spirit to keep the flames burning with passion for His presence for the lost. He coaxes me as a loving Father would a small child to keep walking, to not give up to find hidden treasures in the journey and yes to find revelatory knowledge of His plan, His world, His ways.
I’m learning that the interminable part of this journey is indeed to extend boundaries so that I will not reach a small goal and settle for what appears to be glorious to human eyes. He has never told me that this journey will find culmination on this side, in this life. I know you may say there will be no need for salvation of nations after we are in the here after. I for one do not know what all the here after will entail and there may be other worlds to witness to or not; but this I do know I can’t in this form of flesh do more than begin to understand His glory so that part of my journey, my goal will have to be accomplished on the other side of this life. He has never lied to me or given me false hope.
However He has confounded me. The traditional meaning of confound is to discomfit, confuse, abash. The literal meaning however is to ‘pour together’; figuratively ‘to fail to distinguish’. Ahh, I’m discomfited, thrown out of my comfort zone to learn to walk in His, I’m confused aka mystified by such grace, mercy and a love that simply won’t ever have an end. I am abashed ‘openly gape, staring in wonder’ at the works of His heart, the intent of His Spirit, the intricate weaving of our lives together till one day I know you won’t be able to tear us apart.
I suppose I will still be frustrated, I will strive to make it ‘holy frustration’ (my definition not settling for what is good or great but only for what is His heart and not allowing myself to be comfortable till His will is done on earth as it is in Heaven). Yet in the midst of this ‘holy frustration’ I will strive to be still and notice that this journey has been full of grace, full of glory, full of small goals attained. I will content myself in Him and gape in wonder that while I’m waiting for the fulfillment, He’s waiting too; till all the earth is full of His manifest glory and we will dance together across the finish line. Then when He asked the question ‘do you love me more than these’ like Kefa I will answer, ‘Yes, Lord, You know I love You, I know I love You and I know that You really love me.’
k
5/9/08
I have been in much agitation of spirit of late. Reading the wonderful news concerning the pockets of the Spirit’s stirring, aka the beginnings of revival in other places, I’ve found myself rejoicing and weeping. I rejoice for the stirring of the water, the healings, the visions but weep because it seems as if we have been in an interminable holding pattern for… well an interminable amount of time. Interminable’s basic meaning is no boundaries, no end. It continuously seems as if we get right to the end, to the fulfillment of promises only to find another cycle beginning or the boundaries of the one we are in pushed back. I’m not ignorant to the fact that each ‘cycle’ each pushing back of the boundary causes us to gain more ground and come even closer to the fulfillment; yet at this moment in time I find myself frustrated, flummoxed, confounded and a host of other words spring readily to mind but you get the drift. I feel like we are drifting in the sea of not quite, almost there.
I’ve heard a lot of explanations of Kefa’s (Peter) going fishing in Yoch (John) 21. Number one, I’m a lady so who knows what men are thinking? But I find myself identifying with at least the actions if not the mysterious motives. Yeshua (Jesus) had risen, appeared to them, but was no where in sight at the moment so Kefa decides to go fishing. When I’m longing for His presence but can’t seem to find it manifesting I do a host of ‘fishing’ projects.
Great wonders have taken place, I’ve seen and been a part of many of them; I’ve been promised much more through visions and prophetic words (which have been confirmed from a diversity of other sources, not that Ruach (the Spirit) needs to be confirmed but my hearing will take all the aid it can get in making sure I’m not deficient in understanding), yet when things begin to ‘make sense’ to seem to be going in the right direction, I look up and see another mountain, another barely distinguishable trail leading toward the oh so illusive seeming goal.
Okay if you’ve not been around me lately you are probably wondering ‘what goal?’ You might be sorry you asked if I decided to really expound upon ‘the goal’ but for now my most moderately immediate goal is ‘Christ in me, the hope of glory’, His glory, being shed in and on a lost and dying world. From the time I’ve been tiny I’ve asked for the heathen (the lost) for my inheritance, I’ve always known I would not have a house as a home, a stability in the sense that most people seem to long for. My hearts desire has been to be with Him but while I wait for that I have determined, begged, asked worked for being as He is to the nations. Abba so loved the world (that’s every one, of all ethnic backgrounds, creeds…) that He sent Yeshua, His only begotten Son, I want Yeshua in me, with me, through me to continue to reach the world.
Yet in this I feel stymied, confounded, close but never really getting beyond the surface. Hence here I sit longing and not so patiently waiting, okay I’m chaffing at the bit, saying ‘how long, Abba must I wait, I’ve been waiting all my life.’ Does He answer my sobs, my distressing pleas? Yes, He does, with a longing of His own for the nations for Kathryne to come to the fulfillment of all that He has ordained for my life; with whispers of grace and glory, blowing on the embers of my spirit to keep the flames burning with passion for His presence for the lost. He coaxes me as a loving Father would a small child to keep walking, to not give up to find hidden treasures in the journey and yes to find revelatory knowledge of His plan, His world, His ways.
I’m learning that the interminable part of this journey is indeed to extend boundaries so that I will not reach a small goal and settle for what appears to be glorious to human eyes. He has never told me that this journey will find culmination on this side, in this life. I know you may say there will be no need for salvation of nations after we are in the here after. I for one do not know what all the here after will entail and there may be other worlds to witness to or not; but this I do know I can’t in this form of flesh do more than begin to understand His glory so that part of my journey, my goal will have to be accomplished on the other side of this life. He has never lied to me or given me false hope.
However He has confounded me. The traditional meaning of confound is to discomfit, confuse, abash. The literal meaning however is to ‘pour together’; figuratively ‘to fail to distinguish’. Ahh, I’m discomfited, thrown out of my comfort zone to learn to walk in His, I’m confused aka mystified by such grace, mercy and a love that simply won’t ever have an end. I am abashed ‘openly gape, staring in wonder’ at the works of His heart, the intent of His Spirit, the intricate weaving of our lives together till one day I know you won’t be able to tear us apart.
I suppose I will still be frustrated, I will strive to make it ‘holy frustration’ (my definition not settling for what is good or great but only for what is His heart and not allowing myself to be comfortable till His will is done on earth as it is in Heaven). Yet in the midst of this ‘holy frustration’ I will strive to be still and notice that this journey has been full of grace, full of glory, full of small goals attained. I will content myself in Him and gape in wonder that while I’m waiting for the fulfillment, He’s waiting too; till all the earth is full of His manifest glory and we will dance together across the finish line. Then when He asked the question ‘do you love me more than these’ like Kefa I will answer, ‘Yes, Lord, You know I love You, I know I love You and I know that You really love me.’
k
Saturday, May 3, 2008
To Live Is Christ
5/3/08
Mortimeriados (1596) is first credited with giving us the proverb which states that a coward dies a thousand deaths but the valiant only once. Shakespeare uses this thought in Julius Caesar.
Cowards die many times before their deaths;
The valiant never taste of death but once.
Of all the wonders that I yet have heard,
It seems to me most strange that men should fear;
Seeing that death, a necessary end,
Will come when it will come.
Yeshua stated in Matt. 16:25 If you want to save your life, you will destroy it. But if you give up your life for me, you will find it. CEV
As a Believer in Yeshua I find we are called to die a thousand deaths on this side. We are to die to the fleshly elements, the demonic controls, attitudes…any impediment that would keep us from living as Yeshua did. Yet even in this we are called to do more than live like He did; we are called to allow Him to live in us. This is death of control. The deaths I speak of are physical but do not separate spirit from the body. The enemy of our soul would seek to separate not just body from the spirit but our spirits from our soul; thus enabling him to inhabit aka possess us or live out his agenda through us.
Yeshua is not saying He wants us to die a mortal death but to die to our way of life which is by birth associated with sin since the time of the fall. Yeshua came to redeem the world from the fall and in doing this He made available to us the ability to die to sin, to its consequences and to live in Him, through Him and by Him.
This can’t be accomplished by works (Eph 2:9 not of works, lest anyone should boast. MKJV. The CEV says: It isn't something you have earned, so there is nothing you can brag about.) The curse as a result of sin was for man to work by the sweat of his brow. If we could work it up not only could we try and boast of our achievement but we would be doing what the curse brought upon us thinking it would make us worthy of being brought out from under the curse.
I know that most assume that Mortimeriados and Shakespeare were speaking of the fear, the cowardice which causes one to die emotionally over and over again in their writings. In my opinion those who have risen above this fear of not only death but of really living life will only suffer the death of the mortal body which we as Believers in Yeshua understand leads to a resurrected body again, one like His (2Tim 1:10 But it is now having been manifested by the appearing of our Savior Jesus Christ, who has made death of no effect, bringing life and immortality to light through the gospel; MKJV The CEV states it this way: Our dead and decaying bodies will be changed into bodies that won't die or decay).
Embracing a thousand deaths or however many there are to be embraced in this life is really simply a walking toward resurrection. Each time we allow a bit more of Yeshua to shine through our lives we come to find that we are becoming more and more alive to this world, to the here and now as well as preparing for the next. In fact these deaths are actually resurrections if you look at them in the right way. They are resurrections of the lives we were intended to live before the fall, before sin, before mortal death even came into being.
I have been on a journey one that I hope is getting closer to its destination and it is based on the premise: Christ in me, the hope of glory. Col 1:27b And the mystery is that Christ lives in you, and He is your hope of sharing in God's glory. CEV
For to me to live is Christ and to die well that is truly gain…
k
Mortimeriados (1596) is first credited with giving us the proverb which states that a coward dies a thousand deaths but the valiant only once. Shakespeare uses this thought in Julius Caesar.
Cowards die many times before their deaths;
The valiant never taste of death but once.
Of all the wonders that I yet have heard,
It seems to me most strange that men should fear;
Seeing that death, a necessary end,
Will come when it will come.
Yeshua stated in Matt. 16:25 If you want to save your life, you will destroy it. But if you give up your life for me, you will find it. CEV
As a Believer in Yeshua I find we are called to die a thousand deaths on this side. We are to die to the fleshly elements, the demonic controls, attitudes…any impediment that would keep us from living as Yeshua did. Yet even in this we are called to do more than live like He did; we are called to allow Him to live in us. This is death of control. The deaths I speak of are physical but do not separate spirit from the body. The enemy of our soul would seek to separate not just body from the spirit but our spirits from our soul; thus enabling him to inhabit aka possess us or live out his agenda through us.
Yeshua is not saying He wants us to die a mortal death but to die to our way of life which is by birth associated with sin since the time of the fall. Yeshua came to redeem the world from the fall and in doing this He made available to us the ability to die to sin, to its consequences and to live in Him, through Him and by Him.
This can’t be accomplished by works (Eph 2:9 not of works, lest anyone should boast. MKJV. The CEV says: It isn't something you have earned, so there is nothing you can brag about.) The curse as a result of sin was for man to work by the sweat of his brow. If we could work it up not only could we try and boast of our achievement but we would be doing what the curse brought upon us thinking it would make us worthy of being brought out from under the curse.
I know that most assume that Mortimeriados and Shakespeare were speaking of the fear, the cowardice which causes one to die emotionally over and over again in their writings. In my opinion those who have risen above this fear of not only death but of really living life will only suffer the death of the mortal body which we as Believers in Yeshua understand leads to a resurrected body again, one like His (2Tim 1:10 But it is now having been manifested by the appearing of our Savior Jesus Christ, who has made death of no effect, bringing life and immortality to light through the gospel; MKJV The CEV states it this way: Our dead and decaying bodies will be changed into bodies that won't die or decay).
Embracing a thousand deaths or however many there are to be embraced in this life is really simply a walking toward resurrection. Each time we allow a bit more of Yeshua to shine through our lives we come to find that we are becoming more and more alive to this world, to the here and now as well as preparing for the next. In fact these deaths are actually resurrections if you look at them in the right way. They are resurrections of the lives we were intended to live before the fall, before sin, before mortal death even came into being.
I have been on a journey one that I hope is getting closer to its destination and it is based on the premise: Christ in me, the hope of glory. Col 1:27b And the mystery is that Christ lives in you, and He is your hope of sharing in God's glory. CEV
For to me to live is Christ and to die well that is truly gain…
k
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