Recently I felt impelled to pull out my stepchild writings and get them ready for distribution in doing so I was able to remember the good time I had writing them and to ponder why I stopped. I don’t have a definitive answer as to why I stopped, maybe I ran out of things to say, nah that is definitely not the reason because I always have plenty to say. I think looking back maybe I just ran out of physical umph and the emotional ability to deal with an illness that had taken up years of my life so it all just got to be too much for me to contemplate sitting on the steps. I had thought once we moved about starting them up again but life got too complicated it seems and I had no river, no ducks, geese or heron to give me quirky inspiration. I always intended for the stepchild writings to be lighthearted for the most part especially since I was going through a time of severe trial in the keep heart area; and here I am now for some reason deciding to begin writing concerning a new phase of my journey. This phase will not be written sitting on the steps as before but as I go about the daily steps taken in my life, I will attempt to pause and reflect on the steps being taken and see if there inspiration worth the sharing.
Today is the first day of November and it’s a bright sunny day in the 70s. Since I’m working aka manning the funeral home my steps are ordered a bit differently; however since I’m by myself for now I’m outside sweeping pine needles and pinecones off the parking lot and onto the grass. If I were a guy I would be using a blower but I’m a lady, dressed in a skirt, hose and nice shoes preferring to use a broom. Admittedly it will take longer this way but as I said I’m alone and the active part of the manning (ladying) won’t start for a bit. Okay I thought I was alone (and no I’m not talking Abba/Yeshua/Ruach for they are always here) but I was soon to find out there were hidden entities present. I was sweeping away and pondering the world situation and the perilous times many were having when my attention was drawn to a closer peril. A yellow butterfly had inadvertently (I promise for I have no ill intentions toward butterflies) been swiped by my broom. This little dude or dudette was limping or half fluttering if you will around in a crazy manner probably having been dazed and OH HORROR, perhaps even mortally wounded by my sweeping. I was contrite, I was watching for signs of demise, we are at a funeral home you know, but thankfully it finally straightened itself out and seemed to recover. I thought to myself how did I not see a yellow butter fly in the midst of all the brown pine needles? So I’m pondering and sweeping hoping not to bring any other undetected butterfly close to an untimely death when I suddenly noticed little bees in the midst of my pine needles and revelation dawned. These little dudes and dudette, butterflies and bees had been hiding/nesting in the pine needles probably for warmth over night. No wonder I didn’t see the butterfly if it had been burrowed under the needles. (We will not go into the theological issues of butterflies burrowing so don’t get all hyper analytical on me that’s my job, and I’m trying to stay on track which is really no track and if I start researching the burrowing or not burrowing habits of butterflies it will lead, Oy, Abba alone knows where that could lead.) I must pause since confession is good for the soul they say (who is they well, that’s another story) I actually brained a ladybug who was crawling in the doorway before going out on parking lot detail, I did explain to it that I was not trying to kill it but to merely save it from a fate worse than death by it attempting to enter a funeral home unwelcomed. So it seems the broom and I were going for a clean sweep of the insect world intended or unintended. Whew, I feel better. In any case I had discovered the reason for the oversight, the possible damage done when one does not understand the nature of things hidden or revealed but then I found something being revealed about myself. I was prejudice, biased, a bit heart hardened when it came to bees. I had no qualms about sweeping those little buggers with vigorous strokes, I did stop short at actually hunting them down and squishing them though so maybe there’s hope for me. Another confession, I had just watched the bee movie and even with such enlightenment I was still bee hardened. Alas and alack the human heart can be so fickle, butterflies are pretty and to be honest little yellow and black bees aren’t exactly ugly but they just don’t have the same poetic attraction. I suppose it comes down to one’s outlook which if you think about it springs from our inner convictions so maybe I should say our in look. So ask yourself, what is driving your attitudes? Where are your core values coming from? Are they societal (a product of the society that we live in)? Are they because you were raised in a certain family with a certain ethnic background? Perhaps you were raised in church and think you have a Biblical foundation, I ask you to simply allow yourself to re-evaluate the interpretation that you’ve been raised under. How do you do that? Allow Ruach HaKodesh (the Spirit) to put you in situations like my butterfly-bee one and examine how you react and ask yourself, what if you had to give a reason for your choice what would that reason be based on? A simple easy test is it based on love? If the answer is no then it can’t be truly Biblically founded. Don’t get me wrong, love can sweep a ladybug out the door to keep it from getting stepped on which at the time might seem harsh to the ladybug. Love is not wimpy, it’s one of the hardest lessons to learn and sometimes the hardest to apply when it comes to overcoming our prejudices but it can be done.
And hey, remember you are not alone, there may be hidden life just waiting to be exposed. (Hint do your exposing gently!)
k
