Recently I realized I was living life upside down. There was a really thought provoking song years ago that talked about living life upside down but it was more of a, we might just be getting it wrong message, and I agreed with it at that time. However lately as I found myself singing snatches of that song but it was in a positive note; not a we might be missing it thinking we’re okay, but we’re okay even though it looks like situationally (I know situationally is not a word but it fits well) that we might be missing it. One example is Abba has been telling me over and over that I need to be joyful which appears upside down since everything seems (stress on the word seems) like it’s horrific. He tells us in our services He is there but people are still sick, hurting, struggling so it doesn’t seem/feel like He’s with us as much as He appears to be with some others who are seeing manifestations of healings etc. He tells me I can and will fly but I’m having enough difficulty just walking around. He says we’ve made it but it still seems like nothing has changed. I want to make a confession and say that I’ve felt if I could just get everyone or someone to believe with me that what He’s saying is right that we might just see that things are indeed changing. This only brings frustration to me since I can’t make people believe or realize that the Kingdom of God does not come by observation (Luke 17:20-21) but it is within or may I say already here just waiting for us to acknowledge it/His presence. Mostly I think today that people are expecting manifestations of the Kingdom which do come but He really doesn’t want the stuff of the Kingdom to be the benchmark of knowing the Kingdom is here but is desiring the acknowledgement that He is indeed in our midst feeling or no, that what He is saying is true and when we get that part down then manifestations come and go but we are filled with the joy of the Lord no matter the situation. Another confession is, I keep saying to Abba I really would like to feel something because even when there are massive manifestations I rarely (almost never) feel anything, I just hear His voice. I learned a long time ago that I would indeed rather have His voice than a fleeting feeling but joy is a feeling right? Or is it? Joy is knowing that He is accomplishing what He says no matter the appearance, it’s a deep seated peace in the storm that allows one to come into His presence and there in His presence there is a joy that goes beyond feeling it’s His wonderful Self. So for me joy is not manifestations or good situations it’s Him, it is His voice, and knowing that He likes me to be with Him. That last part causes me to grin which goes beyond smiling in my book. What do I need fleeting feelings for when I have His voice? I’ve been intensely joyful when I’ve been in intense pain (last night for example) just knowing He’s with me and then voila, this morning (sometime or other I didn’t look at the clock) He started speaking to me about His plans for this move He’s already begun and woo-hoo I got really joyful, then I fell asleep; doesn’t sound like intense joy, however it is only His joy that allows me the peace to sleep and only those who know that I really don’t sleep much can relate to the joy that sleep brings to me. Sleep to me is literally going off alert, saying, I’m off duty now so I’m trusting that someone else is taking point. Why in the world do I not let Him take point more often? It’s the redeeming the time thingy, the do the work while you can, cover the earth with prayer cover….that drives me. It’s also the feeling that I’m responsible for doing what I can do so I somehow decided that I should do it cause I can. Now that I know that I’m living life upside which is really right side up in the spiritual connotation of things, I’m not waiting for feelings which might or might not ever come (since we depend too much on how we feel) and I’m taking Him at His word, and if He says it He must feel it right? I mean think of it folks if He says He’s here, He should know right? Would He say pray for someone if He was not planning on doing what He intends to do for them? Would He tell me don’t worry be joyful if my worrying could help anything? I’ve realized more and more lately as I let go He’s got my back, front and sides. He’s ordered my steps of late which such ease that I know I’m dancing with Him through what others are trudging through. I find I dance best with my eyes closed. Why, because I’m just following His lead, otherwise I’m trying to lead and I’m dancing with Him in heavenly places which means I’m upside down to most things on earth and hey, I like the view from up here. What’s up? Me!
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